DIY MATRIMONIAL NETWORK

Singles against awkward arranged marriage meetings.

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Looking for a conversation starter? Nothing beats a good old ‘how I met my prospective bride or groom that my folks found off the world wide web’ story. What follows is tales of awkward silences, embarrassing questions and hurried decisions at gun point (feels like it anyway). In fact the market is full of books on the same topic. “I have many crazy experiences about the prospective  groom and his family visiting me. I could probably write a book on this”, says Kirthika, a teacher.

Makes one wonder why we’re torturing ourselves to do the most naturally romantic thing in the world doesn’t it? Don’t let that throw you off marriages or all matrimonial sites altogether. If anything, question the idea of love, marriage, of the need to rely on your parents to find you a match and the need to get to know the person before jumping into marriage.

Srijesh, a graphic designer says, “One of my most awkward arranged marriage meetings was when after a couple of rounds of questions her parents urged my parents to leave the room  to “let them talk”. My parents and I exchanged a glance, and they left the room. Just as I was sitting alone with the girl hoping to talk with her, her mother storms in saying that the girl and boy should not be left alone. And that we must ignore her and talk as if she wasn’t there.  How was I supposed to ignore a woman standing by my side and breathing down my neck?Hopefully self arranged marriages will bring a change, give a chance to have a better understanding of the person you are going to marry and avoid awkward meetings like these”.

Wedeterna allows you an interactive, user-friendly online platform to really get to know the person before deciding if you even like them enough to meet. Rest assured, you can then choose to meet only the one who you like, skipping all the awkwardness completely. Its fun interface means it isn’t boring or all about statistics. In fact it’s one matrimonial site that lets you be yourself. Being yourself lets others see who you really and and fall in love with you. Because one thing people seem to be forgetting in all this arranged marriage mayhem is that marriage still needs to start with love.

Joshi, a software professional says, “To me, one of the most unexciting parts of traditional arranged marriage is when the girl and guy meet for the first time arranged by their parents, they are left alone to talk for a few minutes. And there they decide whether they like each other or not. If yes, they get married, otherwise they continue looking for another girl/guy.”

The clinical nature of these meetings, takes all the love out. Agreed! Which is why singles should opt for the next best alternative, a self-arranged marriage, and look for a person whose qualities they respect, someone they can picture growing old with and most importantly, someone they love. Because there’s nothing awkward about love.

DIY Tales – I was a victim of hit and run a year ago.

I was a victim of hit and run a year ago. I have had four to five surgeries since then. The nation is celebrating a guy who did not go to jail and who has quite possibly murdered someone with his hit and run. So it is quite atrocious for me to have to kinda live through this. Just to know that the country does not care about real law and order.

Love is the most important currency we can ever have in life. So if you are in love or if you were, it’s pretty incredible. And it is selfless. I’m in a relationship with lots of friends, I’m in a relationship with my niece, my parents. I love my parents, my friends. So there is lots of love in my life and that’s good.

DIY-Tales-Aishwarya

DIY Tales – Love is bliss.

Love is bliss. I just came back from south America and Europe. I went to 18 cities and 7 countries , i got to experience lot of things, Lots of adventures. I sort of discovered my self on this trip. My husband works and i get to travel with him and get to see the world.

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Meet Meeti Shroff Shah

Meet Meeti Shroff Shah who isn’t what you’d call ‘meeti’ (sweet in Hindi) when it comes to expressing her thoughts on arranged marriage in her book ‘Do You Know Any Good Boys: A woman’s guide to arranged marriage. So when we heard of her book and figured it deals with a topic so close to our heart, we decided to pick her brains some more.

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But before we share our exploits, here’s a little more about her and the book. Besides being an author, Meeti is also a copywriter, travel writer and a first-rate taboo player.

In her book she attempts to guide  readers step by step, on how to brave the process of the modern Indian arranged marriage and emerge triumphant, with spirit intact and ring finger appropriately bedecked. What we loved most however were the stories of “first dates” with forty odd strangers in the hopes of finding a life partner. Now hear the rest from the horses mouth and don’t forget to grab a copy of the book.

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Advice to women looking to get married

I’d say, to approach the task of finding a life partner with an open mind and a willing heart. And if they’re looking to get married the arranged way, then to hang on to that sense of humour. It can come very handy.


We know you have many but if you had to pick, your most awkward arranged marriage moment? 

When a guy I went to meet, turned out to be all of 35 kilos and a couple of inches shorter than me! It was awkward. Both of us knew from the word go, that this wouldn’t work out, but we had to go through all the motions of the first date, for appearances sake. No pun intended.


Wedeterna is for people who are looking at a self arranged marriage. Which means all profiles are self created, and not by parents. Do you think it’s better than other matrimonial sites, If so how and why?

The idea that the profile is self-created certainly sounds great. It would mean that individuals are actively interested in getting married and that when you approach someone after reading their profile, the chances that they turn out to be similar to how they’ve described themselves are high.

 


 The qualities that made you fall in love with your husband?

He has a great sense of humour.


 

If you were to create a profile on our site what would it read like?

 

– If you could ask everyone on the planet one question, what would that be?

          What makes you laugh?

When was the last time you did something for the first time? 

         Last week. I went white water rafting in Rishikesh.

– One song that you would listen for the rest of your life to?

          That’s a hard question. But if there’s one song I keep going back to, it is, Gulzaar’s Dil toh baccha hai ji.

– If you have 2 hours free in your day, what do you choose to do? 

         I have a baby now. So two whole hours, where I’m free to do what I want, hasn’t actually happened in a while. But if I did have that kind of time, I’d read. I find I never have enough time to read everything I want to read.

– If you could teleport yourself somewhere, anywhere, where would that be and why? 

         Hogwarts. I haven’t been able to get over the idea of a school that teaches you magic. Even as an adult, I find that world immensely fascinating.

DIY Tales – The meaning of love has changed for me.

Nowadays the meaning of love has changed for me. I believe trust is very important. I’m in a relationship. The best thing about him is that he always supports me. Actually it doesn’t take even a fraction of a second to misunderstand somebody. But if you really trust someone, then you can actually try to understand his/her problem. So support brings everything. That gives you the strength to fight on through tough times. It’s not necessary that we have to be together or have to see each other all the time, because I’m in a long distance relationship where trust is necessary. 11143214_966203150139809_9058762577470958005_o

DIY Tales – Communication is the key for a stable marriage.

“To maintain a certain level of spirituality in this world, you should have a personal conviction and personal understanding. The society which you live in influences so much.”

“Communication is the key for a stable marriage. You have to make time to communicate and you have to take the effort to
communicate. Better than bottling it up and being passive aggressive, is to communicate.”

Tales-Christie

DIY Tales – We love to cook and bake together.

“I think the sweetest moments are when you do these nonsensical and nobrainer things together. Like when you go shopping or the kind of simple choices which you make together it really helps in bonding. We love to cook together and bake together. Every once in a while when I come back from Bangalore to Chennai, I usually reach there at 5am, he would wake up and come all the way to see me and get me breakfast. That’s really sweet of him.”Tales-Anisha

DIY Tales – We love to share every small things to each other.

“The first thing is that from the time we woke up and time till we go to bed, we like to share what we have done all day, it doesn’t matter how small the matter is. We love to share every small things to each other. He’s a cat person and I’m a Dog person, so I always ended up teasing him and it’s fun to have good friendly fights over silly things. The most nostalgic moment in my life just happened, she just booked a Royal Enfield for me. I am crazy fan of bullet and never really thought of buying one so soon. But she really got in to it and booked a bullet for me as my birthday gift.”

Tales-Surya