We are merely starting a conversation. Not a new one. Not old either. But never irrelevant. Especially in a country with as many diverse cultures, customs, castes and religions. A country where marriage means meeting of two families, their beliefs, their social status, horoscopes and then finally maybe, if there’s a little room left, two individuals. Or maybe not.
We can blame it on our family, our parents to be more precise. “It’s perhaps because they’ve been brought up with that thought process. They’ve lived the ‘caste-driven’ life. They have never thought beyond the orthodox ways of life. Human beings have inertia/resistance for change, be it in any form.”
Agreed. But does that mean you stick to it? Who then will change the system?
We can even blame society. “Caste system is prevalent for centuries. People were discriminated based on religion, based on skin color in the west. It was common practice to marry someone in the same category of the caste and of the same religion. It was a custom. People are changing this notion and are now welcoming inter caste or religion marriages. People are more aware now. There were examples in history where people made bold moves to marry someone they loved irrespective of religion barriers. Sadly however it still prevails in some of the minds in our country this evil of caste and religion discrimination.”
Caste system continues to plague our society in spite of so called progress. Thanks to media, it might have reduced but stories of suicides and honor killing continue.
Then again there are stories of Christian and Hindu weddings (unheard of before) where they end up respecting both religions and have two different weddings. People combine their beliefs and learn to lead a new life together. However, this is only true of love marriages. But in arranged or arranged-love marriages the first filter is still religion/caste. What about you? Would you be willing to break this mind block and re-look at your own prejudice, remove the filter and find someone you love, even if they belong to a different caste or religion?
“To maintain a certain level of spirituality in this world, you should have a personal conviction and personal understanding. The society which you live in influences so much.”
“Communication is the key for a stable marriage. You have to make time to communicate and you have to take the effort to
communicate. Better than bottling it up and being passive aggressive, is to communicate.”
I’m a farmer. I have a retail outlet in Bangalore. I talked with my wife on yahoo chat 15 years ago. And I met her in 2004 then I got married in 2005. It’s 2015 now. I have two kids.
When you feel like someone can rule you or take care of you then it’s the right person. It’s always because we need someone and if you feel like someone can actually control you then it’s the right person. That’s how I feel.
” I grew up in a very comfortable and family oriented home. My parents loved their kids, they love being with their kids. Even today I talk to my parents five times a day. People don’t get that. And every time my dad calls I talk to him for an hour. I’m that close to my parents. When I moved to Bangalore, I wanted to leave within a year. Eventually I realized that life is such that someday my parents won’t be there. There is a family you are born in and there is a family you find for yourself. Someday even I have to start a family. So then I started to open up my thinking and suddenly I started appreciating the things that were in Bangalore and my life changed forever! ”
Most of the cases, in many Indian families there are lots of restrictions like, girls shouldn’t work after marriage, because of this I feel love marriages are better than arranged marriages. Because you get an idea about how your future family is going to be and you get to know about your future partner who you are going to spend the rest of your life with.
I think my ideal partner should have different qualities than me, so we complete each other. Whatever I do not have, she should have and the other way around. If you both are the same then it becomes monotonous. I always look for a person who is quite different from me who can change me and I can change her.