DIY MATRIMONIAL NETWORK

Meet Meeti Shroff Shah

Meet Meeti Shroff Shah who isn’t what you’d call ‘meeti’ (sweet in Hindi) when it comes to expressing her thoughts on arranged marriage in her book ‘Do You Know Any Good Boys: A woman’s guide to arranged marriage. So when we heard of her book and figured it deals with a topic so close to our heart, we decided to pick her brains some more.

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But before we share our exploits, here’s a little more about her and the book. Besides being an author, Meeti is also a copywriter, travel writer and a first-rate taboo player.

In her book she attempts to guide  readers step by step, on how to brave the process of the modern Indian arranged marriage and emerge triumphant, with spirit intact and ring finger appropriately bedecked. What we loved most however were the stories of “first dates” with forty odd strangers in the hopes of finding a life partner. Now hear the rest from the horses mouth and don’t forget to grab a copy of the book.

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Advice to women looking to get married

I’d say, to approach the task of finding a life partner with an open mind and a willing heart. And if they’re looking to get married the arranged way, then to hang on to that sense of humour. It can come very handy.


We know you have many but if you had to pick, your most awkward arranged marriage moment? 

When a guy I went to meet, turned out to be all of 35 kilos and a couple of inches shorter than me! It was awkward. Both of us knew from the word go, that this wouldn’t work out, but we had to go through all the motions of the first date, for appearances sake. No pun intended.


Wedeterna is for people who are looking at a self arranged marriage. Which means all profiles are self created, and not by parents. Do you think it’s better than other matrimonial sites, If so how and why?

The idea that the profile is self-created certainly sounds great. It would mean that individuals are actively interested in getting married and that when you approach someone after reading their profile, the chances that they turn out to be similar to how they’ve described themselves are high.

 


 The qualities that made you fall in love with your husband?

He has a great sense of humour.


 

If you were to create a profile on our site what would it read like?

 

– If you could ask everyone on the planet one question, what would that be?

          What makes you laugh?

When was the last time you did something for the first time? 

         Last week. I went white water rafting in Rishikesh.

– One song that you would listen for the rest of your life to?

          That’s a hard question. But if there’s one song I keep going back to, it is, Gulzaar’s Dil toh baccha hai ji.

– If you have 2 hours free in your day, what do you choose to do? 

         I have a baby now. So two whole hours, where I’m free to do what I want, hasn’t actually happened in a while. But if I did have that kind of time, I’d read. I find I never have enough time to read everything I want to read.

– If you could teleport yourself somewhere, anywhere, where would that be and why? 

         Hogwarts. I haven’t been able to get over the idea of a school that teaches you magic. Even as an adult, I find that world immensely fascinating.

DIY Tales – The meaning of love has changed for me.

Nowadays the meaning of love has changed for me. I believe trust is very important. I’m in a relationship. The best thing about him is that he always supports me. Actually it doesn’t take even a fraction of a second to misunderstand somebody. But if you really trust someone, then you can actually try to understand his/her problem. So support brings everything. That gives you the strength to fight on through tough times. It’s not necessary that we have to be together or have to see each other all the time, because I’m in a long distance relationship where trust is necessary. 11143214_966203150139809_9058762577470958005_o

DIY Tales – Friendships do last a long time.

“We think our karma with each other is not over and it’s going to be there for a really long time. We’ve known each other and we’ve traveled together and lived together. And you know there is too much of closeness between us. Don’t think we can go our separate ways now. Even in holidays it’s very hard for us to stay without texting each other. Friendships do last a long time. True friendship, it passes the test of time. And we’ve been together and we take care of each other. We live far away from home and our friends are all we have. We have to take care of each other and look after each other. So if that bond is formed it lasts forever.”

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DIY Tales – Communication is the key for a stable marriage.

“To maintain a certain level of spirituality in this world, you should have a personal conviction and personal understanding. The society which you live in influences so much.”

“Communication is the key for a stable marriage. You have to make time to communicate and you have to take the effort to
communicate. Better than bottling it up and being passive aggressive, is to communicate.”

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DIY Tales – We love to cook and bake together.

“I think the sweetest moments are when you do these nonsensical and nobrainer things together. Like when you go shopping or the kind of simple choices which you make together it really helps in bonding. We love to cook together and bake together. Every once in a while when I come back from Bangalore to Chennai, I usually reach there at 5am, he would wake up and come all the way to see me and get me breakfast. That’s really sweet of him.”Tales-Anisha

DIY Tales – We love to share every small things to each other.

“The first thing is that from the time we woke up and time till we go to bed, we like to share what we have done all day, it doesn’t matter how small the matter is. We love to share every small things to each other. He’s a cat person and I’m a Dog person, so I always ended up teasing him and it’s fun to have good friendly fights over silly things. The most nostalgic moment in my life just happened, she just booked a Royal Enfield for me. I am crazy fan of bullet and never really thought of buying one so soon. But she really got in to it and booked a bullet for me as my birthday gift.”

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DIY Tales – Love means freedom to me.

Love means freedom to me. The freedom to be myself. So far I have dated younger people but I have also dated older people. But prefer older people. Because i think older people are more interesting. At least in India the younger guys have a lots of growing up to do.  There is a friend of mine in Germany, he’s an artist. So for my birthday he drew a whole of cartoon strip of how we met, how we became friends and the thing we did together. He framed it to me and sent it to me. That’s one of the most thoughtful thing somebody has done for me.

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DIY Tales – When you feel like someone can rule you or take care of you then it’s the right person.

I’m a farmer. I have a retail outlet in Bangalore. I talked with my wife on yahoo chat 15 years ago. And I met her in 2004 then I got married in 2005. It’s 2015 now. I have two kids.
When you feel like someone can rule you or take care of you then it’s the right person. It’s always because we need someone and if you feel like someone can actually control you then it’s the right person. That’s how I feel.

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